You feel stressed and anxious. Well-meaning people try and help by telling you not to be stressed and anxious.
It doesn't help.
(Bird is shocked!!)
Here is one of my own go-to coping tool that I also use when preparing clients for EMDR and trauma therapy. The idea is to envision a relaxing, safe, or peaceful atmosphere to help alleviate stress and anxiety.
1. Find yourself a quiet space without interruptions.
2. Imagine a peaceful place (real or imaginary). It's best to not choose places that could be associated with pain (like a vacation with an abusive family member). If you need suggestions, Google Searching various images can be helpful.
3. Once you have a space in mind, add more details to make it as vivid as possible. This is going to help the skill work. What would you see there? Smell? Hear? Touch? Taste? The more you can add, the better.
I like to "pair" an essential oil with it by smelling a favorite scent as I think of my place.
4. Try practicing the skill daily. If it resonates, try using it when feeling stressed or anxious!