Healing at the root. For you. For your family.
EMDR Therapy for Parents in Metro Detroit
Many parents who come to me for EMDR have already done some research. They know something is affecting how they show up for their kids. Maybe it's the hypervigilance that won't turn off even when everyone is safe. Maybe it's the reactions that surprise them, the ones that feel bigger than the moment warrants. Maybe it's the belief, quiet but persistent, that they're somehow failing the people who need them most.
They're not failing. They're carrying something their nervous system never finished processing. And that's exactly what EMDR is designed to reach.
What is EMDR?
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is an evidence-based trauma therapy developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s. It is endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association, the World Health Organization, and the Department of Veterans Affairs as a first-line treatment for trauma and PTSD.
Think of the information we take in throughout the day as items on an empty desk. Everything we experience lands there. Our brains are remarkably good at processing it: we think about things, talk them through, sleep on them. Gradually, what’s on the desk gets filed away into our memories and experiences, organized and integrated.
But the brain isn’t always able to make sense of painful experiences. When something overwhelming happens, it can’t always be filed away. And when it can’t be processed, the brain does what it’s designed to do: it tries to make sure we never get hurt like that again. That’s where hypervigilance, avoidance, and fear come from. And for parents, those responses don’t stay contained. They show up in the car, at the dinner table, in the moments that matter most.
There is still a lot about the brain that even experts don’t fully understand, but what we do know is that EMDR uses brain activation to enhance our natural ability to process what’s been stuck. Think of it like a splinter. Left in place, it keeps causing pain. Remove it, and your body is able to utilize its natural healing ability.
EMDR is an eight phase model, which means we don't jump straight into processing. We start by exploring your history: what's gotten you to this point, what's on the desk that can't be put away. From there we look at how you're coping, strengthen what's already working, and add skills where needed. Once we've built that foundation and identified a plan, we use bilateral stimulation (BLS) to help your brain desensitize and process the experiences that have been stuck. Here's where we really start moving what's on the desk into the file cabinets.
In sessions, you won't need to go into graphic detail. We aren't looking to have you relive what happened. Most clients are surprised by how much shifts without having to go back through every aspect of a painful experience. You stay present and in control throughout.
The goal isn't to erase memories. It's to get to a place where you can remember what happened without being hijacked by it. For parents, that often means getting to a place where you can be fully present with your kids instead of bracing for something that already happened a long time ago.
What Does EMDR Therapy Look Like?
I sometimes use EMDR alongside IFS therapy, and when I do, the two approaches complement each other well. IFS helps us understand the parts of you that have been protecting you from pain, the ones that shut down, stay hypervigilant, or keep certain things locked away. For parents, these are often the same parts that show up in moments of conflict with their kids, the ones that react before they can think. When those parts feel safe enough to step back, EMDR can go deeper and work more effectively.
How EMDR and IFS Work Together
I was in a serious car accident as a teenager and refused to go to therapy afterward. I told myself I was managing okay. My loved ones probably would have seen it differently.
Things held together until my mid-twenties, when I was a passenger in another accident. That broke a dam. Suddenly I was struggling any time someone else was driving. I avoided driving at night. I couldn't read books or watch movies where an accident happened. I was already in therapy, but nothing touched these symptoms.
I had heard about EMDR and scheduled an intake. And then I ghosted my therapist after one session. I wasn't ready. A few months later, nothing had gotten better, so I went back.
I hadn't realized the weight of everything until I started putting it down. The strong symptoms subsided within a few months. For something that had affected me for years, that was relatively quick.
But the moment I remember most wasn't dramatic. I was riding in the passenger seat with my husband on a trip when a car merged into the lane next to us. And I just watched it happen. A car moving into another lane. I could see it for what it was, without bracing for the inevitable crash that never came.
That absence of panic was the thing. I hadn't known how much space it had been taking up until it wasn't there anymore.
I sought out my own EMDR training soon after my personal experience with it and went on to become an EMDRIA Certified Therapist. Meeting that standard required significant training hours, supervised practice, and demonstrated competency. Maintaining it requires ongoing continuing education. I pursued it because I wanted to be sure I was doing this work the right way, and I keep doing it for the same reason
From the Other Side of the Chair
Change is possible.
Click this link If you’ve made it this far and something here resonates, that probably means something. I’d love to connect and see if we’re a good fit.
FAQs
Frequently asked questions
-
No. EMDR works with the feelings, beliefs, and body sensations your experiences created, not with reconstructing events in detail. You don't need a clear or complete memory. We work with what's present, not what's perfectly recalled.
-
It depends on what you're bringing in and how ready your system is to process it. Some people notice significant shifts within a few months. Others do longer term work. I don't believe in one size fits all timelines. We move at a pace that's right for you.
-
It's a fair concern and one I take seriously. EMDR does ask your nervous system to engage with difficult material, and that can feel uncomfortable, especially early in the process. That's why we don't jump straight into processing. We spend time building a foundation first, making sure you have the internal resources and coping skills to handle what comes up. For people who are ready and working with a trained therapist, EMDR is generally well tolerated. If at any point it feels like too much, we slow down or stop. You're always in control of the pace.
-
This is one of the most common concerns I hear from parents, and it's worth addressing directly. The preparation phase of EMDR exists precisely for this reason. We don't move into processing until you have the tools and internal resources to handle what comes up between sessions. You won't be left without a net. And the parents I've worked with consistently tell me that doing this work made them more present, not less.
healing and the root. for you. for your family
—
healing and the root. for you. for your family —